


Poised

by love_killed_the_superstar



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Episode: s05e25 Legs From Here To Homeworld, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 08:05:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15408627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/love_killed_the_superstar/pseuds/love_killed_the_superstar
Summary: “What are you doing? Standing so poised in the presence of the diamonds. Staying so close to Steven. Being...”“A pearl?” Pearl chuckles darkly, eyeing Garnet critically. “It's what humans would compare to riding a bicycle. Instinctual. I never knew how to act around agates, but diamonds... they're my forte.” Her smile fades a little, and she stares down at the floor. “I could never talk to you about that before.”(Garnet decides to confront Pearl about her body language.)





	Poised

**Author's Note:**

> LEGS FROM HERE TO HOMEWORLD, MAN!!!!!!!  
> Anyway, like ALWAYS, my eyes were on Pearl pretty much the entire time. I did a lot of thinking about the way she acts and talks during this episode and wanted to put my thoughts down on paper, so here we are.

Garnet, less than 24 hours after getting married and becoming herself again, is back in her role as leader again. And she's been watching all of them like a hawk.

Steven is, surprisingly, taking this all in his stride. He's making an effort to give the diamonds a chance to redeem themselves; something Garnet thought was far too late, something she still believes. But, amazingly, they're also making an effort to appease him. They've tried to heal a gem. They've heard his pleas. After all of the negotiating Pink Diamond supposedly did, all of the fighting... all it really took was her resurrection as Steven, and a 5000 year long waiting period.

Amethyst is unnerved. There are so many things she wants to say, so many things she wants to know about, and she keeps shooting Garnet nervous glances. She's freaked out by the sudden change in demeanour of the diamonds, afraid of the way they make her emote.

Bismuth is furious. She understands that Steven needs to do this, and the way she's holding herself back from coming at the diamonds while their guards are down is admirable, in Garnet's eyes. She knows if she didn't have a diplomat living inside her, warning the part of her that just wants to punch that they need to be reasonable about this... she wouldn't be holding back. Bismuth is being quiet, calm, watching their every move, calculating. Waiting for the perfect moment.

Pearl, on the other hand, is doing exactly what Garnet feared she would.

She's standing as upright and straight as a board, arms pinned to her side like a soldier or folded demurely in front of her, eyes trained up at the diamonds nervously. She's scared, afraid to raise her voice around them, afraid to stand in a way that could offend. A complete change from the wedding night, when she stood her ground and fought them as her life depended on it. Garnet's... disappointed. She just wishes she could make sense of it all.

“What are you doing?” Garnet asks quietly, siding up to Pearl in a brief moment of peace. Steven has wandered over to ask Bismuth about her reluctance to return to Homeworld, and for the first time, Pearl seemed to let her guard down, her perfect poise slackening.

“I was just assuring Priyanka and Doug-” Pearl begins.

“I don't mean that.” Garnet pulls her away from the group, putting some distance between them, lowering her voice a little. “I mean you. Standing so poised in the presence of the diamonds. Staying so close to Steven. Being...”

“A pearl?” Pearl chuckles darkly, eyeing Garnet critically. “It's what humans would compare to riding a bicycle. Instinctual. I never knew how to act around agates, but diamonds... they're my forte.” Her smile fades a little, and she stares down at the floor. “I could never talk to you about that before.”

Garnet lets out a sigh. “It's all so new to me.”

“I wish that wasn't the case.”

“Me too.”

“If I could have told you, I would have.”

“Really? You had hundreds of years – nine hundred years of the rebellion to tell me. You never did.”

Pearl turns away, staring up at the ship, and Garnet hates that she almost looks comforted by the sight of it. “Can we not discuss this now? Please, Garnet. There are far bigger things at stake.”

“Rose used me and so did you,” she says quietly. “Just because Ruby and Sapphire forgave you... it doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt. _I_ don't forgive you.”

Pearl turns back to Garnet so sharply it almost – almost – makes her flinch.

“I don't know what I'm supposed to say to that,” she says, a note of helplessness in her voice. “I could spend the next thousand years apologising, or denying my involvement, or insisting it was all Rose. None of it will make any difference, or ease your pain. I'm... I'm trying to build the trust again. All I can do at this point is try.”

Garnet folds her arms.

“Then let me ask you again why you're doing this. Why you're acting like this around Steven, around _them_.”

Pearl hesitates. “They... they still believe that he is Pink. They're being good to him right now because they don't understand. Of course they'll have to acknowledge it eventually. But they will have to be eased into the idea, and so Steven has a part to play. So do I.”

“I hate that. They don't deserve coddling. Steven doesn't own you and he never has. There's no point dragging this out for longer.”

Pearl moves quickly, faster than a shot, her face inches from Garnet's.

“There's every point to this,” she says firmly, eyes cold. “Steven's life is at risk here, Garnet, and he stands a far greater chance at reaching the diamonds, convincing them to help, if he behaves like a diamond. I don't like this. In fact, I hate it. Playing these parts... limiting myself... seeing – seeing _White Diamond_ again...” She blinks back tears and tears her gaze away from Garnet, staring pointedly at her shoulder.

“She's terrifying, Garnet,” Pearl whispers, sounding truly shaken. “She got through pearls faster than Steven outgrows his clothes. Broken things, shattered things, cloudy things... and she would have broken me too, if Pink hadn't needed a 'smart, sensible pearl' so badly.” Her voice cracks. “I never wanted to see her ever again.”

“So don't,” pleads Garnet. “Tell Steven what you've told me. Tell him this is a bad idea.”

“You think it will do any good?” Pearl raises an eyebrow quizzically, thumbing away a tear. “His heart is set on it. He wants to help those corrupted gems just as much as we do, and it won't help to upset him with my stories.”

“I hate seeing you like this.”

“I hate _being_ like this.” Pearl shrugs. “But I'm doing this for him. I'm the only one that can.”

Garnet swipes away her visor.

“Pearl, I don't understand.”

“There are things I don't know about Pink, but there are a lot of things I _do_ know. Things Steven needs to _understand_ about Homeworld, about the diamonds... I can finally tell him everything I know, a-and I have a responsibility to! Garnet, if they decide they don't want him there anymore, he'll need help.”

“We'll be there,” Garnet begins, assured. Pearl shakes her head.

“It isn't that simple. You're a fusion and Amethyst is defective, and Connie is human. There is a chance you won't be allowed to leave the ship.”

Garnet feels a cold hurt sweep over her, something that feels like not even wedding rings can stop. But then a warmth cuts through, comforting, calming, and she takes a deep breath.

“Okay. If that happens...”

Pearl smile in a way that makes something twist inside of her.

“I'm a pearl. Not even a diamond would bat an eye at a pearl following her diamond into a negotiating room.”

“This is a bad idea.”

“I know. But I'm not letting him do this alone.”

“If they suspect who you are, if they suspect you're... talking out of turn-” Garnet feels nauseous just saying it. “Pearl, they could shatter you on the spot.”

“Yes.” Pearl sighs, closing her eyes for a moment. “Garnet, I'm terrified for Steven. And I don't want to die. Do you see any futures where I don't come back?”

Garnet feels cold all over, and replaces her visor quickly, looking away.

“...Yes.”

Pearl tenses up.

“There are so many possibilities, Pearl, you know that. Please... be careful.”

For a moment, Pearl reaches over to take Garnet's hands, running her thumbs gently over Ruby and Sapphire's rings.

“I really am sorry, Garnet. For everything. I wish I had more time to prepare you for all of this.”

“Don't say that. Just keep yourself safe and alive.”

Pearl offers her a sad smile.

“I'll try.”

She forces her smile into something brighter, and it soon melts away into a look she's perfected dozens of times for Steven's sake. She gives Garnet a quiet nod and they move closer to Connie and Amethyst again, as Steven rushes back over to them.

“Let's go to Homeworld!” he declares.

Pearl smiles at him tentatively, arms folded, and Garnet offers a thumbs up. All she can do for now is keep searching the future.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Anyway #JusticeForWhitePearl


End file.
